well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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