Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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