I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
