It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
