Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
