where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I intend to get homeless drunk
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
