my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
