ttyl tear gas
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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