do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
