Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
