just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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