Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
