Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
