I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
