so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think I am morally bankrupt
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Your cock deserves a montage
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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