Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
