I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
