My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
