Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
