Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
