2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
