next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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