She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize