i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
