My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
