is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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