Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
