I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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