I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
