So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
