Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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