there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This baby is an asshole
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize