Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
