I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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