I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She needs sedatives and a leash
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
