So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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