You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
