Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
