I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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