So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
