We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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