My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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