a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
