I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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