the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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