i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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