ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
