I hate all girls vehemently.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
