thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
