He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
