My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I will be naked everywhere
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
