Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
