i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
