i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
