you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
