cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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