I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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