That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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