I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
actually, I'm a sock model
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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