Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
How's work?
Spinning.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
