i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
