In the future we'll all be gay
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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