I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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