i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
