SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
