No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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