I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
