I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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