Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
