I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
