no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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