Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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