ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hippo gnu deer
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
