what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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