i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
