Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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