im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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